The Surprise is Over!!

This weekend was another whirlwind. Saturday was the Surprise 40th Family Birthday Party for my husband and his twin. Though it was not too much of a surprise, especially thanks to a last minute phone call on behalf of another about side jobs……it still went very well.

The perfect birthday cake!

The surprise for Rob was that my godparent’s entire immediate family was there – which he just appreciated so much. Beyond that, I had pulled together some picture boards – one for each of the twins, with pictures from when they were young, but mostly from over the past 6-7 years. Both of them loved the boards – which I was just thrilled about! And the boards will make another appearance this coming Saturday at the Friends Birthday Party (yes – there are two parties for such a momentous occasion!)

Rob with his new glasses

And, I will never be able to thank Nancy, Carol & Rick, and Aunt Janet so much for all of their help. This was the party that while I coordinated some efforts – these guys really came through and made it happen, while I have been planning the friends’ party.

This past week was definitely one of the more difficult weeks too since Chris is no longer in our lives. See, the day I took Chris to the hospital after Disney – we were sitting in the “pod” (treatment area) waiting for a bed to open up. We were there for hours on end and when he was awake – we would talk about all sorts of stuff. He had promised me that he would make it for this family party for Rob. Over this past week as plans were coming together there was many times where I just got upset because he wouldn’t be there. I guess really some of the finality of it all is setting in – the reality that I will never get to talk with him again, never get to make faces with each other and make fun of people, never even get to pick a fight or get frustrated with him because he was so stubborn all of the time. And mostly, I don’t get to talk with him anymore about things that are going on in my life, things going on in his – relationships, what our goals were for the future for ourselves and all of the things he and I talked about. It just sucks.

But, one of the amazing things – because my brother was the guy he was – he still got to get the last word in with Rob – he bought him a birthday gift while we were in Disney. I pulled it out and gave it to Rob on Sunday afternoon – it choked both of us up a bit. Chris had bought Rob a set of Disney World golf balls and a miniature golf bag tee holder that he can put on his golf bag.

So, with the family party - and the last thing that Chris promised me he would make - over, I would love to say that I have found my new normal in life – but it is still a work in progress – a day by day journey, and some days, it still is hour by hour. Rob mentioned yesterday that time is just flying by and before we know it, it will be Christmas – I asked him not to rush it – Christmas without Chris is not something that I am looking forward too. In the meantime, day by day will work and the celebrations along the way will still mean something just with a bittersweet moment – you know that moment where I can’t believe he isn’t here to laugh with me, cry with me, make faces with me and just stand by my side like we have done so many other times in our lives.